Since I am a certified Twilight Fan.. I can’t really wait for saturday to come!! I didn’t able to get the advance screening tickets for today, I’m little bit sad… but I hope I could wait till saturday!

I want to see New Moon now..hahaha…

image courtesy of http://www.twilightthemovie.com

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Last night though i was exhausted from the days work, while i was browsing some mp3s. I stumble upon a great album. It is Colbie Caillats’ 2009 Album – Breakthrough. The songs are really great and i really loved it!

I’m really a music lover and i listen to different kinds of genre! And this album is very much recommended to people who love listening to pop and mellow songs. It’s really relaxing and colbie’s voice is really beautiful!

Here are some of my favorite songs in the album:

• You got me
• Falling for you
• Fearless

I hope you guys buy her album!

Today  I got a new pair of working shoes. And I’m so happy! A great way to start my monday is to wear this new gear at the office! I’m so excited.

Did you see the heels? OMG! It’s 3 inches, i only hope that i can pull this off!

I love gladiator style shoes that’s why i bought this! Happiness!!

Today was such a tiring day. Me and my two younger brothers had lunch with my mom and her boyfriend Steve @ MOA. We ate at Aristocrat.. and the food wasn’t great.. And after that we played billiards and bowling which turned out to be fun. And then we bought donuts from Krispy Kreme and we went home.

My siblings and I didn’t exactly went home ..we went to Trinoma to shop for some new shoes for work… I bought 2 pairs.. one for work and another pair for gimiks.

Then before really going home we decided to take out food from MCDO plainly because my youngest brother wants to drink coke float.. but… unexpectedly going there turned out to be exciting….

While I was ordering,  a guy who ordered before me went to the counter and asked the crew to change his spaghetti  because it has no sauce! lol. but that’s not the story here..hahahaha..Then.. the service crew talk to another laughing service crew.. and then as i gazed at the laughing service crew.. it was one of my biggest crush in highschool! I really don’t like to mention his name but since his popular then.. i’ll just describe him.. he has that very cute dimples on the both sides of his cheek..and he’s not that tall..but he’s a good basketball player.. he’s still looking cute but.. but the Twenties suits him well.   he looked so handsome now..

Naahh.. I’m just bragging because he’s my crush. though he’s a year younger than me.. i used to watch his games before.. hahahaha..

Maybe whenever I pass by Trinoma or shop at Trinoma.. I’ll just eat at MCDO.. It’s cheaper and it has a good view! hahaha..

That’s it.. I’m just saying that after this so tiring day at least I saw someone who brings back the teen in me.. hahaha.. Though I’m just 21.. I felt like i’m 16 again.. hahahaha..

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.” — Paulo Coelho

Last Saturday was one of the days of my life I would cherish. It was the day that I finally proved that I’m really one of his friends. He said that he and one of our friends invited me out that day because he knew I would feel bad about the cancelled outing.

Oh yes, I did feel bad about it. But I said to him, there’s nothing I could do about it. But still he did something. And that means A LOT TO ME. It made me happy knowing he cared about how I feel, but I also knew that I should not expect for things that he can’t give to me.

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.”–James Earl Jones
That day, when he told me those things.. i wanted tell him what I felt for all these years but then it hit me….that If I say it.. I would definitely lose him..

“One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.” –Anonymous

I also realized another thing that day, I realized that when I thought that he’s already within my reach.. He suddenly moves further away..

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.” – -Anonymous

This song is from one of my favorite bands – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

It’s called 20-Hour Drive. For those who like good rock music, you might as try to search and listen to this song.

Acoustic Version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8BQxD8rLhA

Studio Version : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UNpJfz24Q4

20 Hour Drive

20- Hour Drive by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Yeahhhhhhhhh, yeah, yeah
Now it’s fallin’ around you
Pick up the pieces
You know they won’t fit
Teardrops are fallin’ down like rain
Ocean water around you
I see it comin’ ’round again
I know

Now I realize that I’ll be fine and I’ll forget you
Will you ever learn that there’s more to life than helping yourself?
Will I reach out my hand and stop you from fallin’, which starts this over again?

This time there’s nowhere left to talk as I run down the boardwalk
Trying hard to forget your face
I know
Wish I could finally find the strength to open up your letters
I think I’ll throw them all away instead

Now I realize that I’ll be fine and I’ll forget you
Will you ever learn that there’s more to life than helping yourself?
Will I reach out my hand and stop you from fallin’, which starts this over again?

Don’t know if I can bring myself to open up your letters
Maybe I’ll throw them all away
Forget you all together
Know now I’m waiting back at home
Know now I’m waiting back at home and I am starving for affection
Affection…….

When will I finally find the strength to open up your letters?
I think I’ll throw them all away
Forget you all together
When will I find my way back home?
Find my way on back home
My way back home
And now it’s falling around you
Pick up the pieces
You know they won’t fit

I must admit I’m a hopeless romantic person. And I also do believe in fairy tales and happy endings. But until now, I’m still wondering…

Can a person really love someone unconditionally?

Can we really give so much without wanting something in return?

Can unrequited love be so unconditional even if you have sworn for so many times that you will forget that person?

Is it really love or just a plain state of mind?

——————————

He gives you attention you never really receive from someone else.

He gives you time you never really get from someone else.

He understands you whenever you’re feeling down and alone even for the smallest reason.

He listens to your story and cares even for the smallest detail of your so called life.

Maybe I just misunderstood all those things… Maybe it’s what the other part of me wanted.

“Kung lahat ng bagay na ginagawa niya binibigyan mo ng kahulugan, konti na lang DIKSYUNARYO ka na..- Anynomous”

It’s been 2 years now since I realized that I’ve fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have. And yet I’m still clinging to that person even though it’s not really the logical thing to do.

Someone told me that if I don’t tell him, how would he know? I just couldn’t bear to lose something precious – the friendship I’ve been treasuring for all these years?

Yes, I yearned that someday he would see through me that he’ll realize that I’ve loved him for a long time. And yes, I told myself so many times that I’ll forget him but until now i’ve been failing to do so..

Is it because there’s something wrong with my head, that I can’t find the courage to leave?

Is this really love? Or just plain stupidity?

Until now, I’m still wondering.. Why can’t I stop myself to fall in love with him all over again?

I need to get out of this emotional forest.

I know you’ll never gonna see this..

Every little thing you do by Westlife

Hello, let me know if you hear me
Hello, if you want to be near
Let me know
And I’ll never let you go

Hey love
When you ask what I feel, I say love
When you ask how I know
I say trust

And if that’s not enough

It’s every little thing you do
That makes me fall in love with you
There isn’t a way that I can show you
Ever since I’ve come to know you
It’s every little thing you say
That makes me wanna feel this
There’s not a thing that I can point to
‘Cause it’s every little thing you do

Don’t ask why
Let’s just feel what we feel
‘Cause sometimes
It’s the secret that keeps it alive
But if you need a reason why

[Chorus]
Is it your smile or your laugh or your heart?
Does it really matter why I love you?
Anywhere there’s a crowd, you stand out
Can’t you see why they can’t ignore you
If you wanna know
Why I can’t let go
Let me explain to you
That every little dream comes true
With every little thing you do

It’s everything, everything you do
That makes me fall in love with you
It’s everything, everything you say
That makes me feel this way

It’s been a while since I’ve started writing about how I really felt about things,about life and everything.

I don’t know but until know there’s something in my heart thats making me feel that i’m useless and pathetic and stupid and an idiot.

I’ve been hired last June at my very first job as soon as i left college. Well, I am very pleased that I’m hired right after graduating, but as soon as I stepped at that big room filled with cubes I felt a nauseatic feeling inside me.  I called this first job sickness. haha..

Months passed really fast, June..July..August..September..and now that September is ending I’m still feeling a bit strange.. Disappointed, I could say. It’s a really big company, a global one. That’s why it’s been hard for me because everybody is expecting you to be perfect like them. Yes, you’ve read the word correctly – Perfect. How can someone like me excel in a place where everybody seems to be perfect. Is there something wrong with me to think that way? Maybe yes.

But, what I’m saying is that I’m so disappointed with my self because I am always thinking that, how can i prove myself to people who thinks they’re so special? Or how can i prove myself to people that i can do those things too if i can’t worked on things that i liked to do.  It’s not that i don’t like what i’m doing. It’s just that .. IT’S NOT ME.

My friends says that it’s normal for a newbie to feel that way in a corporate world.

Granted, but there’s still something that’s bothering me. I’ve been losing all the confidence I had, I’ve been losing the will to learn, I’ve been losing faith in humanity or am i just losing my mind? hehe.. just kiddin’.

The truth is, I can’t find the reason or motivation to keep me going, and i’ve been losing my hope that someday or sometime it would be my turn to do the things that i’m best at.. And I hope that it would be sooner rather than later..

Another Season for one of my favorite series : Supernatural!

The first episode was aired last September 18, 2008. I’ve been dying to see the pilot episode of season 4 as soon as Season 3 ended. Well, the waiting is over and now i’ve seen the first 2 episode of the season i’ve been so pleased.

Season 4 didn’t fail me. It made me more excited and craving for more. All of the mysteries and questions unanswered, it made the series more exciting for me. FYI, i am a fan this genre though i am afraid myself i just couldn’t help it.

Meanwhile there is only One question i’ve been asking myself since the show restarted is that ‘Why would an angel save Dean Winchester from Hell?’ hehe.. Well, Dean wonders why too.

“Hush! Ice! Be patient!” I told myself. Can’t help it.

Watch Supernatural! It’s great. ! I really like Jensen Ackles! hehe.