A Little Too Late: A Short Story

By Moonlight Elegance

“In my own way I did love you.. But Maybe I’m just a little too late.”-Lizel

Shades of Spring

By: moonlight elegance

“Everyone has experienced that truth: that love like a running brook is disregarded

Taken for granted, but when the brook freezes over

Then people begin to remember how it was when it ran,

They want to run it again.”

-Khalil gibran-

 

 

Chapter 1:

The sun is high and I can feel its radiant ray on my face. I slowly open my eyes then I sat on my bed. A faint smile began to cross my face. The air is filled with music, flowers in the garden bloom as colorful as the rainbow and trees grew as green as the sea. The sky is painted with an exemplary blue hue. Spring has come outside my window, the most beautiful time of the year. It is the time where you can see a smile on every child’s face and hope in every adult’s eyes. Spring symbolizes contentment and bliss yet it can also be your sorrow and grief.

I can still clearly remember, as if it only happened yesterday, the spring that changed my life in a flash. I gently close my eyes, and reminisce everything from the very beginning. Everything began to revolve. My skin becomes younger, my hair becomes shorter, and I began to see myself 7 years ago. I’m Maria Isabelle Colin; 18 years old, two years have past since I entered college. I never knew life could be more difficult than now. I have no father and I live with my mother. I took no care for others, neither for love nor friendship. I don’t know what these things meant and I don’t give a damn. I don’t know how to smile or to cry, maybe because I live my life alone and forlorn. And yet, people adore me. They say I’m intelligent, beautiful, rich and famous, and a person closes to perfection. But they are absolutely wrong; they only judge me because of my pretty face. But if only they can see right through me, they will see an unhappy girl, lost in her own misery, locked up in her world.

“Life is like a gentle breeze, it is forever fleeting… always passing”

I was sitting on the school park bench alone and sunk on my favorite book. Then one of my classmates came rushing towards my direction. “Belle, have you heard? Mr. Popular of University of Colorado is transferring to our school!” she exclaimed excitedly. “And so? “ I replied shortly “So, it means Ms. Popular here will have a partner!” she said exaggeratedly. I sighed and said -“Look, Cheska no offense meant, but I really don’t care.” – Without looking at her. I can tell, she was slightly appalled on my answer. “Oh, I see. Sorry to bother you, I’m going now.” She replied shortly then left unwillingly. After a while, my eyes began to tire, so I stop reading. As I look around, a guy is walking not far away from me. He caught my attention. He is tall, handsome, and slim and he had the most expressive hazel brown eyes I’ve ever seen. Something about him makes me think we have something in common. Then, a flock of dim-witted girls approached him. He smiled so genuinely that I couldn’t see pretensions on his face. “How I wish I can smile like he does, I envy him.” I thought to myself.

Then suddenly he glanced upon my direction and saw me watching him intently. Our eyes met. Then he smiled at me. THUG! Suddenly, I can feel butterflies flying around my stomach. I was frozen, I feel like I can’t move an inch. But then my defense mechanism work. I exchange his smile with a look of disgust and left the area. That is the first time we laid our eyes on each other and yet he bothers my mind so much. Why? —I don’t intend to know the answer.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 2

For me, there’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s just a part of life’s natural order and everything happens for a reason. Then something happened the next day—could it be fate?

I was late for my first class and I was running on the hallway on full speed. CRASH! I collided to someone and fell on the floor. “Ouch!” I whispered in pain. My things are scattered on the floor, and my butt ached as well. As I try to pull myself up and gather my things, someone offered a hand. It was him, the guy from yesterday. THUG! My heart starts to beat faster. And for the second time, I was mesmerized.

“I’m sorry”-his voice brought me back to reality. “Thanks.” I replied and left immediately. For the moment it was the only word I could say. I wonder why I always get tongued-tied whenever he is near. I never thought that incident will be followed by another incident. And it happened on that same fateful day. When I arrived at the classroom, to my relief Mr. Spike wasn’t there. He was always late as usual. I sat on my chair and start reading. Then my dolt classmates who started talking loudly interrupted me.

“Hey guys have you heard? The new exchange student will be our classmate.” Someone said excitedly

“Yeah. I heard his kind of’ cute. I can’t wait to see him!” Said the other

“Duh! Why do these people get so excited, he’s only an exchange student anyway, what’s so special about him?” I thought then continued reading

A minute later Mr. Spike arrived. To my surprise, he was with that guy! “That guy! Again?”

“Okay class; settle down, I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Mr. James Jethro Fanell. He is the exchange student form Colorado University. All of you should be nice to him, is that clear?” Mr. Spike said

“Yes sir!” the girls answered him but neither the boys nor me

“He’s not that special. I don’t like him.” Why am I telling these things to myself? I don’t intend to know the answer.

Suddenly, “ Ms. Can I sit here beside you?” Jethro said smiling. His voice brought me back to reality. “Huh? Why do you have to sit here? Go away!” But I only said that in my mind “ Do what you want.” I said coldly.

“Thanks.” he replied. I just shrugged my shoulders as an answer to him.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Time is like a gentle breeze, before your realize. It’s gone.”

It has been 5 months since school started, since I spoke to him. Yes, I haven’t spoken to him since that introductory class. And it’s no big deal. I hardly speak to anyone. It’s my nature. I like doing things by myself. And I always like to be alone.

Then the school trip has arrived. It brought excitement to my classmates, but not for me. I have no idea that this will be the day that God have been waiting for, to punished me for being so naïve and yet gave me a gift- I was bound to cherish all my life.

“Class, this will be the routine of the trip. We will visit three mountain parks but will climb the last one. So you better get your partners now. As a security measure, you will climb in pairs. And also your partner will be your buddy for the whole trip. Okay?” Mr. Spike instructed us before we climb the bus

“Yeah that’s cool!” I heard someone said

“I wonder who will be Isabelle’s partner?” someone commented

“Do they have to wonder? Of course, I will have no partner.” I thought

So all of them have found their partner. Except for me. And it’s fine with me. But to my dismay, someone meddled with my affairs.

“Hey Sir! Isabelle’s got no partner? Is that allowed” it was Cheska. Then murmuring of my classmates followed.

“ These people are so annoying!” I thought and said, “It’s okay! I can manage myself.” Trying to sound calm.

“But Isabelle, it wouldn’t be safe. I think someone would like to be your partner. Well, who would like to be Isabelle’s partner?” Mr. Spike said

Everyone looks so excited. Some looks like they want to raise their 2 hands up but they are shy to do it. Then someone spoke. “ Sir, I haven’t got any partner yet. I can be Isabelle’s partner.” It was Jethro.

“Of all people, Why it had to be him? ” I thought

“ Would that be alright with you Isabelle?” Mr. Spike asked me

“No! Why him?” I thought but I said, “Yes sir. It’s fine with me. Thank you very much.” I can’t do anything about it. Even if I protest to the White House. And now, the murmuring of my classmates gets even louder.

“Oooh.. Jethro’s so lucky. Usually, Isabelle turns down every guy who wants to be her partner.” Someone commented

“Why do they have to make it a big deal having that guy as a partner? I don’t like him anyway.” I said to myself while ignoring the muttering of my classmates.

So Jethro and I ride the bus together. And throughout the journey in the bus, I didn’t speak to him.

He always gives snacks but I always refuse. He is really stubborn and didn’t stop bugging me until I accept what he is offering.

“Isabelle, do you want some soda?” He asked, I was looking outside the window and ignoring him.

I didn’t answer him. But he did not give up. “ How about some chocolates?” he asked again

I remained quiet. And look at him and shake my head as an answer.

“Oh, I see. How about some sandwich?” he asked again. And for pit sake, he is still smiling at me.

“For crying out loud! Will you stop it? You’re getting in to my veins.” I thought then finally spoke.

“No thanks. I’m still full.” I am still looking out the window of the bus when I turn to look at him he’s smiling. “What?” I asked him, trying to sound normal but I am really starting to get irritated with him.

“Finally I succeeded in making you speak.” He said smiling triumphantly. And I was quite surprise on his answer.

“So that’s the reason he is bugging me, to make me speak” but I said, “What are you talking about? Are you making fun of me?” My voice is still calm but sharp

He remained silent for a moment, and then he smiled and said “No, I wasn’t making fun of you. I was just trying to put you into a conversation. That’s all. “

“And why do you have to put me into a conversation? “ I asked him

“It’s because I’ve never seen you talk to anyone casually. Usually, you speak when it is needed. And Most of all I’ve never seen you smile.” He said calmly

His words made an impact to me, because what he’s saying is true. And it made me feel sad. I just sat there quietly, trying to think what to say.

Finally I said,” Oh that. I usually, don’t feel like talking with anyone. It’s just not my type.” Then I fell silent.

He looked at me and smiled and said, “Oh. I understand. Here take this.” He gave me a bottle of water.

And for the first time, I accepted it. “Thanks.” I said.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The first part of the trip was good. Laramie Mountain Park was awesome and so as the Sang’re De Cristo Mountains. Then we finally arrived at the Pikes Park. We started to get the things we needed for the hike.

Then set off in the mountain.

The air is dry at the foot of the mountains; the wind undergoes further heating and drying as it descends the slopes. As I moved further I can feel the Foehn- the strong wind that blows on the lee side of the mountain range.

“It feels so good to be on a place where I can feel serenity. If only life is like this, then maybe I can live it at the fullest.” I thought

“Hey! Isabelle!” Jethro’s voice is so loud this time; it brought me back to reality.

“What?” I replied

He smiled and said, “I was worried about you, you’re daydreaming you know.”

“And so?” I said

“You got to be careful, your hiking you know. You might trip on the roots of the trees.” He said.

I didn’t answer him but continued walking upwards. I was in front of him and he just follows my tracks. But then he speaks again, “Isabelle, can I call you just Belle? You know, I really don’t know how to address you.” He sounded timid this time.

I stop dead on my tracks then said “Whatever you prefer, it doesn’t matter.” But still not looking at him

“Oh that’s good. Thanks. “He said, but I know behind my back, he’s smiling widely.

Silence fell upon us then I took a deep sigh and said, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” He said shortly

I was so determined not to look at him then I said, “Why do you always smile?”

“Oh that.” His voice sounded surprise; He paused for a while then continued, “Do you want to know why? — It’s because, I wanted you to smile. “

THUG! With his answer I can feel my cheeks are growing hotter and my hearts beats faster than before.

I can’t utter a word for a moment. I’m in a state of shock. Then, without a word, I continued walking. I can feel he followed me immediately. And never spoke to each other till we reached the top.

The scenery at the top is very stunning, it’s almost like you’re closer to heaven. When you look up, you can see the fluffy clouds, and when you look down, you can see the trees and the land below. And soft but cold breeze blows. Yes, it’s really soothing. It makes you feel closer to the sky- to heaven.

I feel contented, and it’s so peaceful in here. No air, water, noise pollution- and in this place, their can be no heart and mind pollutions.

And out of the blue, I suddenly spoke “Hey, Jethro, what exactly do you feel when you’re here in the top of the mountain?” I said without looking at him.

He looked at me, and then said “Hmm… Nice question, Well, I feel very contented at this place. Serenity would be the appropriate word to use.”-He paused inhaling the fresh air then continued- “And I really like it in here, there’s no air, water, noise pollution here.

And no pollutions of the heart and mind as well.” He said sincerely

I was shocked in his words. It was like he read my mind. I looked at him intently. He really looked different when I first saw him. He seems so relaxed and happy. Then he suddenly looked at me and said “And also, I felt closer to heaven when I’m here.” Then he smiled.

It’s as if a gentle wind rumbled upon my face, my hair, my body… and my heart. And for the first time in my life, I met someone, who thinks and acts like me. And it scared me. Then my trance was interrupted by his voice.

“ Belle! Are you alright? “ He asked

“I’m fine. Thanks. I’m going down first.” I said then hurriedly walk back down. But out of stupidity I didn’t see the twig of trees in my way. And fell out of balance.

“Ouch!” I Screamed, then Jethro rushed towards me

“Belle! What happened to you?’ He said

I tried to stand up but my ankle aches badly.

“I think I broke my ankle. “ I uttered

“See what I meant earlier, it’s dangerous here you know. You’re so careless, dear.” He said, sounding like a nagging husband but he’s still smiling when he said those words.

I didn’t even realize the term of endearment on his sentence.

“It’s not like I did it on purpose you know.” I answered back as I look at him intently

He didn’t spoke. He nursed my injury and handled me with care. Thank God he has a first aid kit.

“Can you stand?” He asked me after he finished treating my wounds.

“I think so.” I replied then I tried to stand but I felt a sharp pang of pain in my ankle as I tried to step my foot on the ground.

“I don’t think so.” He said then carried me without permission.

“Hey! Put me down! I can walk by myself.” I protested and tried to free myself from his grasp.

“Belle! Don’t be so stubborn. Your injury might get worse if you insist on walking by yourself, so stop moving sweetie. Or you’ll hurt us both.” He answered with authority then continued walking down the mountain trail path.

I was shocked with his answer. The word “Sweetie” was taboo. I hate it when somebody calls me like that. It was because the only person who calls me Sweetie was my father.

I got so pissed that I didn’t realize I was talking so loudly.

“Damn! Do whatever you want! And if you dare call me Sweetie again, I will push you down even if I kill myself on the process.” I shouted then fell silent immediately.

He was surprised with my reaction. He tried to open his mouth to speak but he closed it again and decided not to talk anymore until we reached the foot of the mountain.

When we reached the camp, everybody was surprised to see Jethro carrying me. Mr. Spike approach and Jethro told him what happened.

“Sir. Belle tripped on the way down, so I carried her. I just gave her first aid, so please give her proper medication.” Jethro said as he put me down on the stretcher.

“Thanks.” I whispered even though I was so angry with him, I felt that’s the right thing to say.

“No problem.” He replied then he smiled and walked away.

I just gazed at him from behind, as I saw him walking away from me, I felt another very familiar feeling. The Feeling of lose. And It’s not Jethro’s back I saw that time but my dads’.

I decided to lay down the stretcher and gently closed my eyes.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

To be continued…

Sorry I haven’t written the next chapter, Expect it to be done by next week.. But this is a just a short story so please bear with me. Writing is my hobby, so I’m not really that good at it. ^__^ Thanks!

 

 

 

So again, I’m here to review a movie. It’s one of my favorite movies of Studio Ghibli. Whisper of the Heart by Yoshifumi Kondo(director) but based on the Manga Mimi o Sumaseba(If you listen closely) by Aoi Hiiragi is a movie about Love, Finding your Dreams and things you really want to do.

The heroine Tsukishima Shizuku is a 14 year old girl who loves to read books and writes poems. For me she is a girl who likes fantasy so much that it affects her life. But i think it’s good for her since it became the basis of her dream to become a writer. And then her Partner Amasawa Seiiji an aspiring violin maker is a good catch. Yeah I like his character, and the idea of Young Love. ^_^ Anyway, all in all the story was great especially on the Library Card Part where Amasawa Seiiji’s name is always appear before Shizuku’s name. So for someone like me who is a hopeless romantic 0_0 it’s kinda romantic i guess. hehe.. And the story of the Baron was great too. I think Ghibli Movies are interrelated because i saw Porco Rosso there. hehe.. And i think the main concept of the story is Realizing your dreams and what you really want to be. And we should not push ourselves too much because we are still young and there are things we really need to learn.

I also like the song “Take me home, Country Roads.” I don’t know why but the song is kinda soothing. Hehe.. And my favorite was the Cat! What type of cat is that? It’s cute. Because I wanna see a cat whose riding a train. hehe.. And teases a dog. It’s a little snobbish but it’s kinda cute. 0__0 and that cat was a kind for Shizuku because of that cat she found the Shop(I think it’s an antique shop..I don’t know.)

So in the scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest I give Whisper of the Heart and 8! ^__^ It’s great and i think the teens should watch it. For those who haven’t realize what they want to become. Watch this film!

Ja Mata Ne! ^_^

This is my little collection of love quotes from famous people.. I guess it’s a little brainy.. hehe.. But these are my favorite quotes from them.. ^_^ I hope you’ll like it.. So here.. Take a little good look. ^_^

Quotations:

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
James A. Baldwin

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
Peter Ustinov

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu

The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
David Grayson

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
A. A. Milne

We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
W. Somerset Maugham

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Michel de Montaigne

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
Henry Van Dyke

Sometimes it’s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
David Byrne

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
Mother Teresa

 

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
Tom Robbins

This day is so exhausting. I traveled from Quezon City to Makati City. Then from Makati City to Ortigas. *Sheesh* I walked from MRT Ortigas to Pearl Drive, OMG., I’m starving and I’m tired. I easily get tired right now. Maybe because I’m sick. Anyway, the interviews today from 2 different company had good results.. So before i went home, i bought food from Ministop beside the building.. Anyway..I’m still hungry.

When I arrived at the house, i ate. Then I opened my YM. Err.. My PC is still open. Mind you, it was open from 10:00 PM yesterday night until now so it’s almost open for 24 hours and then I saw Bryans’ Stat Message. He said it was a quote sent to him in his mobile phone. The quote was very dramatic and of course it hit me.

This is the quote: “I was the one who loved you most. but between us you lost more. someday i can love someone the way i loved you but
you will never be loved again the way i did.”

Holy Kamote! The quote made me feel uneasy. I really don’t know why but i hope it’s not selfishness. I remembered you. Your Love for me Before.. I don’t know maybe i will regret this my whole life but at least somehow in my own way i know i also did love you.. but it’s a little to late..

Maybe the best decision is to not tell you because i am not sure if this is really “LOVE” or just “PRIDE”. I don’t want to tell you because it might hurt us both. And most of all it might hurt you again. So, the best thing to do is be your friend till the end.

There are so many things that happened in my love life, some of it taught me that loving someone is never an easy task. Some of it taught me to be strong and be mature. Sometimes it’s stressful, sometimes its good. Yet, there are a lot of things about love that i know nothing about. *sigh*

Here are some of my aphorisms about Love,Loving, Being Loved and Letting Go:

“You hated me so much yet you love me more than you can hate me.”

“I started to Love you when you started to hate me, but when you started to love me all over again… Do you think I’ll end up loving someone else..?”

“I love you when you smile but I love you more when you cry.”

” I always pretend I don’t care about you, but the truth is I always do.”

” I want to love you selflessly but when you ignore me.. It ends up selfishly.”

” Do you Still Love Me? ‘Coz if you don’t, I will make you fall inlove with me all over again.”

“I said I will stop this feeling but you smiled at me and I ended up clinging.”

“If you are my Karma, You’re the most painful of all.”

*Clap* Some of the lines are random thoughts from my broken heart.

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take pleasure in other peoples sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

A Walk to Remember is one of my All Time Favorite Love Story Movie.. I think I’ve seen it for 5 times and yet I still cry over for Jamies’ Death.. How Silly of me.. ^__^

Anyway, Here are some of my Favorite Quoted Lines from the Movie.Hope you’ll like it.

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?

Landon: What?

Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I’m sick. To help me through all this. You’re my angel.

Landon: I might kiss you.

Jamie: I might be bad at it.

Landon: That’s not possible.

Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me?

Landon: Why? Are you seducible?

Landon: Are you scared?

Jamie: To death…

Jamie: Lighten up.

Landon: It’s not funny.

Jamie: I’m scared of not being with you.

Landon: Oh baby, that will never happen… I’ll be here.

Landon: I’m sorry she never got her miracle.

Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

Jamie: Without suffering there would be no compassion.

Landon: Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer.

Landon: Jamie, I’m trying here, OK? Maybe… maybe I miss spending time with you. Maybe you inspire me.

Jamie: Sounds like bull.

Landon: Which part?

Jamie: All of it.

Landon: Well it’s not!

Jamie: Prove it.

Jamie: You don’t know the first thing about being someone’s friend.

Landon: I don’t want to just be your friend.

Jamie: You don’t know what you want.

Landon: Neither do you. Maybe you’re just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you.

Jamie: And why would that scare me?

Landon: Because then you wouldn’t be able to hide behind your books, or your frickin’ telescope, or your faith. No, no, you know the real reason why you’re scared? It’s cause you wanna be with me too.

Landon: Hey. How are you feeling?

Jamie: I’m ok, how are you?

Landon: Pretty good.

Jamie: I have something for you.

Landon: You do?

Jamie: Uh hmm… Don’t worry it’s not a bible. It was my mother’s. It’s got quotes from all her favorite books, and quotes by famous people. Her thoughts. Come on.

Landon: Okay, let’s check it out. Okay…”What is a friend? It’s a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” -Aristotle.

Jamie: Uh uh, right here.

Landon: Okay. “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.” That’s Dolly Parton.

Jamie: I always thought she was smart.

Landon: “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

Landon: Jamie… I love you.

Landon: Now would be the time to say something.

Jamie: I told you not to fall in love with me.

Jamie: I’m sick.

Landon: I’ll take you home. You’ll be be…

Jamie: No. Landon! I’m sick. I have Leukemia.

Landon: No. You’re 18. You - you’re perfect.

Jamie: No. I found out two years ago and I’ve stopped responding to treatments.

Landon: So why didn’t you tell me?

Jamie: The doctor said I should go on and live life normally as best I could. I - I didn’t want anybody to be weird around me.

Landon: Including me?

Jamie: Especially you!

[Jamie looks down]

Jamie: [Landon gets upset]

Jamie: Ya know, I was getting along with everything fine. I accepted it, and then you happened! I do not need a reason to be angry with God.

 

Reverend Sullivan: “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked.” Hmmm.

[Landon walks into the Church as Reverend Sullivan is practicing his sermon]

Reverend Sullivan: “Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap…” Can I help you?

Landon: Uh, yes, sir. I’d like to ask your daughter to dinner on Saturday night.

Reverend Sullivan: That’s not possible.

Landon: Well… with all due respect, sir, I ask you to reconsider.

Reverend Sullivan: With all due respect, Mr. Carter, I made my decision. You can, uh, exit the way you entered.

Landon: Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jamie the way I should’ve. She deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in Church. And that’s faith.

 

Last Lines from Landon:

Landon: Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.

Weeh.. I really really like this movie.. *Sob* ^__^

 

I dedicate this song for you, My Little Love.

Fall For You
by Secondhand Serenade

The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don’t think that I am trying
I know you’re wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a boy like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I’d never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a boy like you is impossible to find
It’s impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I’m yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a boy like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don’t make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it’s true
Because a boy like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

It’s now 8:53 PM. Last night, i finished reading TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE by Mitch Albom, and i really like the book. I enjoyed reading it and i learned a lot of things, things about Emotion, Detachment, Love, Culture, Aging, Marriage, Death.. and a lot of other things.

As i read the book, I stumble upon a line and then it hit me! I suddenly remembered someone, and he’ s been occupying my mind lately. Let’s call him ” My Little Love”.

This is the line “If you hold back your emotions, if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid.You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.”

Yes, i am afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. I want to love him completely but something is holding me. I don’t know what, or why but something is keeping me.

There are a lot of things he’s been through, and there are a lot of things i have been through. I am afraid that i’ll just hurt him again.. I am afraid that what if this isnt real? It will just lead to more complications.. I am also afraid that he doesn’t love me anymore.. And most of all, i am afraid that HE WON’T BELIEVE ME..that HE WON’T BELIEVE MY FEELINGS..that.. He will just think that he is just a PAST TIME..

How could i make him believe that feelings changes through time. I may not able to return his feelings then.. but can’t i just make it right this time? Will he allow me to love him, despite the fact that i caused him pain?

I know that I’m not certain if he still loves me.. but i am sure that i am beginning to love him..

If he is my KARMA, he would be the most painful of all.. Because you know what hurts the most is loving someone who used to love you..And if in the end i will be the one getting hurt.. Well, I’ll just accept it..